The Gaga saga rumbles on

A few weeks back, my least favourite performer brought her tour to Bangkok. My dislike for her is obviously not personal. I don't know the woman. In fact, she might be a very nice lady if you happen to be her friend in real life. However, the stage persona she has created- I cannot abide. Contrived, vulgar and all done (much better) before by Madonna. You may wonder why I'm devoting any time to writing about her. Well, it's the unholy stink she caused with a Twitter comment. On mass, thousands of Thais, from Gaga's own 'Little Monsters' (what a bloody stupid name for fans) to Thai government ministers, were up in arms. What about? Well, here's the infamous Twitter comment,


'I just landed in Bangkok baby! Ready for 50,000 screaming Thai monsters. I wanna get lost in a lady market and buy fake Rolex.'

Now, no one is entirely sure what a 'lady market' is. Personally, I think she means one of the numerous go-go bars crammed in to the infamous Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy (Soi Cowboy: doesn't that just conjure up some rather tasteless images?). However, thankfully, Thailand didn't quite get wind of that. No, they reserved their indignation for the fake Rolex part. You see, folk got upset because Ms Gaga suggested that it was easy to get counterfeit goods in their country. This, they said, was not true and gave the world a bad image of Thailand. Many fans boycotted the concert and radio stations refused to play her records.

Although this little poo-poo storm erupted at the end of May, it is still getting coverage in the Thai press this week. Why? Because the police say they have found the source of the fake Rolexes. It was a little Iraqi woman who has been handling the racket all by herself for the last 10 years. By the way, no need to worry, she is now safely behind bars. Well thank goodness for that. Here was me thinking that the counterfeit problem extended to far bigger things than this Iraqi woman's back room.

Contrary to what the Thai press has stated, it is incredibly easy to get good quality, cheap counterfeit goods all over Thailand. Fact. This evening, in the 5 minute walk from the supermarket to my apartment, I passed stall after stall selling fake electrical appliances, fake handbags, pirate copies of DVDs, bottles of imitation perfume. A young Thai journalist strongly asserted that he personally knew that it was impossible to purchase fake designer goods in a well known, three-lettered shopping mall. Well unless you can now buy a Gucci handbag for a tenner and Tiffany earrings at 2 for 5 quid, I'd say you most definitely can. I have been there and seen it. It isn't even in the least bit hidden.

Thailand is a beautiful country and far more conservative than outsiders give it credit for. Far more conservative. There is very little violent crime and the people are very reserved, quiet and dignified. There is no shouting from youngsters in the street and certainly no Public Displays of Affection from anybody. And you certainly CANNOT buy a girl on every corner. Thai women don't usually even bare their shoulders in public! 

However, there is no denying it; Thailand does have a certain 'reputation'. Not always a great image. However, this image has not been cultivated by the likes of Lady Gaga (why would you listen to a woman who wanders around in nothing but greying underwear and meat bras?). It comes from an unwillingness to stamp out the sale of counterfeit items, and the denial of High Society that it goes on. Well I'm sorry to tell you, HiSo guys and girls, but you can buy cheap designer goods on many, many streets and shops in Bangkok, or any tourist area throughout the country for that matter. Although only in a very small area, girly bars do ply their trade pretty openly. It may be unsavoury but it's unfortunately why a number of tourists visit the country every year. No, they haven't just come for the beaches and temples. 

But don't go changing. The sad, lonely man needs to find  his 'one-night only' love of a beautiful woman. Besides, where else would I get such a bloody good 'Mulberry' bag for 30 quid? I'm not made of money you know.